MY LETTER TO MY BONE GRAFT DONOR'S FAMILY

When I opened the letter, I was caught by surprise.  Initially, I thought it was routine billing paperwork having to do with my recent orthopedic surgery, so I almost set it aside. Thankfully, I took a closer look, and realized it was so much more.

It was from a tissue donation organization.

During my surgery, I received a bone graft to help repair my leg fracture.  But bone grafts don't just happen. Either the surgeon has to remove bone from the patient's hip, or donated bone tissue can be used.   I was lucky enough to get donated tissue. 

The letter said that I could write to the donor's family.  Wow.  I knew, immediately, that I wanted to do it.   No question about it. 

I thought the letter would be easy to write, but it wasn't.  Someone's deep loss had given rise to my future well-being.  That subject isn't easy to tackle.  But I was determined to express my gratitude to the family, so here is what I wrote:

I know you recently suffered the loss of a loved one, and I would like to begin by extending my condolences.

In the midst of your grief, you made the compassionate decision to make a gift of tissue donation. Three weeks ago, I was a recipient of your gift, and I am writing to express my sincere gratitude for your courage and generosity.

I fell while holding my one year old granddaughter, and in order to protect her head, I took the full blow of the fall and broke my leg. Orthopedic surgery followed, which included a significant bone graft.  

In addition to being a grandmother, I am a 59 years old practicing trusts and estates lawyer.  Without your gift, I would have been unable to return to a fully productive life.  Please be assured that I will carry the spirit of your loved one with me each day, and do my very best to continue to live my life with the utmost integrity and kindheartedness. 

If appropriate, I would like to know more about your family member, to better honor your gift.  Of course, I will understand if you do not feel comfortable following up in that regard.

Again, thank you for making the selfless decision to help others.  I will never forget your gift of love, made in the midst of grief.  I can only hope that you will find comfort in knowing that the legacy of your family member will continue in my life, and in the lives of all those whom I encounter. 

My tissue donor has convinced me that an extraordinary decision can have extraordinary results.   I will never forget that someone very special gave me a second chance to live purposefully, with wild abandon, and deliberate joy.  

Someone I will probably never know, but who will be part of me forever. 

My newest friend.