WHAT MY NEW BIKE & PORNOGRAPHY HAVE IN COMMON
/I don't know if my sister and I are both klutzes, or if we just needed new bikes because we got older. It's probably a bit of both, but we opted for new bikes.
I suspect this debate is raging in the minds of many of you. Why? Because we keep falling off our fancy, 21+ speed bikes, and it isn't pretty. If you need further proof, just look at the record sales of "cruiser" bikes, particularly among women baby boomers.
If you or someone you know don't already own a cruiser, I guarantee you've seen plenty of them on the road. They're easy to spot: wide balloon tires, upright handlebars, pastel finish, and the ever-so-wonderful wicker basket in front. If you look closely, you will probably also see a comfy leather seat and matching hand grips. Perhaps the biggest giveaway, however, is the huge smile on the person riding the bike, face to the wind. When I see one, it takes everything I have not to ask the rider, "Can I be you?"
Now let's stop a moment and define "cruiser," because my definition is probably a lot broader than the standard. Unlike the bike companies, I don't think cruisers should be tied to the number of gears (typically 1 or 3). Instead, I think the definition should be based on how stable and terror-free someone feels when riding one.
Four years ago, I fell off my 21 speed bike and broke my wrist. It was pathetic. My husband was in the ER with his father who had just had a stroke (more on caring for aging parents in a later blog), so, after picking myself up off the blistering hot summer pavement, I drove myself to the same ER. To this day, because the bike is not a horse, I've never gotten back on it. Plus, I don't mind admitting that I'm just plain scared of it.
Tomorrow I pick up my new KHS Green 8 Ltd. I have no idea why it's called "Green," because it's an awesome turquoise blue, just like the classic '57 Chevy I envision driving down Route 66 someday. The number "8" is the cool part, however. As you might suspect, that's the number of gears. But the great thing is that those gears are safely tucked away in an internal hub, as opposed to being strung out on a derailer. (In case you don't know what a derailer is, it's that chain guide thing that moves from side to side, "derailing" the chain onto different sprockets. Bottom line, it's what's on 21+ speed bikes).
What does the fact that my new bike has an internal gear hub really mean? It means it won't skip between gears, so I have a much better chance of not falling flat on my face. It's not that derailers are bad; most people really Iike them. It's just that, now that I'm older, I'm too pitiable to operate one.
So, let me leave you with these final bicycle tips:
1. If you're scared of your fancy 21+ speed bike, you're not alone. As with everything in life, the first step is admitting you have a problem. After that, move on and consider getting a new bike. Of course, if you love and can stay on your fancy Tour-De-France bike, ride it fast, every day, in front of the rest of us, and preen. You deserve the glory.
2. Choosing a bike reminds me of the famous 1964 U.S. Supreme Court case I studied in law school. The justices were tasked with defining pornography. Justice Stewart acknowledged that the court was unable to come up with an intelligent definition, but concluded, "I know it when I see it." In the case of bicycles, you'll know it when you ride it.
3. With the sun on your back, and the wind in your (helmeted) hair, ride your bike purposefully, with wild abandon, and deliberate joy. Give yourself permission to walk up steep hills. Raise your feet high in the air on the downhills. I guarantee ordinary moments will become extraordinary. Assuming you don't fall off.
